Outrageous Riders!

This morning on the radio on my way into work the local radio station was listing different celebrity riders for when they are performing. Some of them are known to be outrageous and just plain stupid. So it got me to thinking, when I am rich and famous and I go on tour what would I have in my rider? More on that later. For now let me share with you some of the celebrity riders that I found online today during my Google search.

Lady Gaga
- A nude mannequin (are you really surprised about this - it's Lady Gaga after all)
- 1 pack long straws (must be extra long)
- An elliptical machine
- 6 Activa (does Jamie Lee Curtis come with them?)
- 1 container of homemade guacamole (what no chips?)
- 2 Bottles of White wine (I'm good with this)
- 1 Bottle of Red wine (No glasses? Oh wait that must be what the extra long straws are for)

Mariah Carey
- $200 Bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon
- 2 Vases full of white roses
- 20 white kittens (does she adopt them after her tour?)
- 100 white doves (well at least the kittens eat well on tour)
- Room must be 75 degrees (too warm for me)

Justin Bieber (gag)
- Large package of Swedish Fish
- Apples and Caramel
- Herbal teas (actually a smart choice - did I just say that?)
- 4 packages of white tee shirts
- 3 packages of lo-rise socks

Adele
- 2 Bottles of Red Wine
- European Lagers (party at Adele's dressing room - whoo hoo)

Kanye West (gag)
- Imported and recut Versace towels
- A chauffeur who drives him wearing only 100% cotton clothing

Britney Spears (gag)
- McDonald's cheeseburgers (no buns) - and you wonder why you put on weight?
- 100 figs and prunes (um not going there)

Mary J. Blige
- A new toilet seat installed in her dressing room bathroom before she arrived (I don't see a problem with this)

Jennifer Lopez
- Her trailer must be furnished in all white (flowers, tablecloths, couches, candles, etc) - uh white?

John Mayer (blah)
- Organic fruit
- Soy milk
- Soft head toothbrushes
- Listerine mouth wash
- Mint flavored Sensodyne or Tom's of Maine toothpaste
- Altoids (OK I may not particularly like the guy but at least he tries to keep his mouth minty fresh and his demands are not too crazy)

Nicki Minaj
- Buckets of spicy fried chicken -no thighs, lots of wings (man that girl can eat)
- 3 packs of gum (all different flavors)
- 2 space heaters (guess she gets cold easily)

Madonna
- 20 International phone lines (I guess for her 300 person entourage)
- Lillies, white and pink roses with stems that are trimmed to precisely 6 inches

OK so some are not as odd as you would think but I'm guessing some of the really strange or overly demanding requests are not published. An agent has to protect their client.

 

What would be in my rider? Well lets see. . . if I was famous and they all bowed at my feet then I think I would have:

- Really soft linens and towels (now my assistant could arrange to have some that were my own placed in my trailer/dressing room)

- Good pillows. I am a stickler about my pillows. B-man laughs at me for all the pillows I have on the bed (I don't like really fluffy or soft pillows and I can't sleep flat so . . . good pillows.

- Quality food. . . . if I am rich I now can have the best of the best when it comes to food (not organic this organic that - just really good quality food)

- Fiji water (for when I'm rehearsing or performing). Singers know to keep hydrated and I just personally like Fiji water. I know someone who only drinks Starbucks water and well if it works for him great!

- I'm not a champagne person so probably good bottles of wine (no they don't have to be uber expensive)

- A safe play/sleep area for Smiley. She and B-man would naturally be going with me wherever I went so her happiness and safety are priority (even over my pillows).

- Twinkies (love them, miss them, so happy they are coming back but yes I would use my celebrity to get them)

So what would your rider include?

It's a mad mad world!

I can't believe that it has been over a month since I last wrote something. I know it has been crazy at work and that leaves me exhausted when I get home so I spend my time playing with Smiley and doing something crazy like laundry but still over a month! Bad Ashley - no cookie for me!

Like I said above things have been crazy at work so I've barely had time to take a bathroom break or even have lunch let alone write in my blog. Now that is has calmed down again I can share all my wonderful thoughts with all of you lucky people. Missed me? Thought so.

We are now in March so lets do a recap of how I'm doing with my New Years Resolutions (blah ha ha).

1. Learn at least 12 words in German and to be able to use them in a conversation properly.

- My BIL has been very good to me by helping remind me of my counting 0-10 in German (even corrected my spelling errors that I posted previously). He even gave me at least 2 phrases to practice. Well I have been a bad girl and haven't been practicing or asking for more phrases. We are in month 3 so I need another phrase from him.

2. Bring my lunch to work 4 days a week.

- I have been a good girl on this one. Only 2 times have I bought lunch twice and brought the remaining days. I have also been better at bringing my breakfast all 5 days to work so I can treat myself to Starbucks every once in a while to go with my breakfast. So kudos to me. Just need to keep on track with this (I've even inspired on of my co-workers. He is striving for the same as I but only seems to have succeed with one day a week for his lunch bringing. Baby steps I tell him).

3. Play for 60 minutes a day.


- Yea this hasn't happened. I'm lucky if I manage to get to do much more than the regular house hold work (which I'm not doing well at). Smiley is moving and shaking (but no she isn't doing the Harlem Shake) these days. She has discovered balance and is walking all over the place. My exercise usually consists of me chasing after her). Sadly I see the results every day and it brings me down all the time.

4. Drink water every day.


- No progress here - oh sure I'm great at instilling water for Smiley but me, not happening.

5. Buy a plant and keep it alive all year long.

- Spring is coming so I've been eyeballing the plants that are slowly being brought out. Will have to pick my victim, I mean plant here very soon.


6. Try one new recipe a week.

- I have been pretty good about this. I established Sunday Dinners at my house for the family and if I don't try a new recipe I try a new method of cooking or a new side dish or a new spin on an old favorite. So this is going pretty good. Have to really get back to trying a new dish each week.

7. Try one new food a month.

- This hasn't been a success. I did try Korean BBQ with B-man this past week and it was "interesting". So that counts as trying a new food. Sadly it is my first new food of the year. Must be more open.

8. Find a way to bring in more cha-ching for my family.

- Signed up for online surveys that are supposed to pay either cash or gift cards but it takes several surveys before you even get a $10 gift card. Humm - still looking for new ways to make money. Thinking of a yard sale in the spring.

9. Save more money.

- Need to do this more. Was doing ok with $50 per pay period but I've switched to paying that money to my crazy credit card bills instead. Need to get back to this. I also want to take all the change we have around the house and put it in the change thing at my bank for Smiley's savings account. Just need to do it. Maybe one day when I'm off and can run to the bank.

10. Be a better wifey.

- Not sure I'm doing that well. I'm so tired all the time, we never get to cuddle or have alone time because of our schedules, my working late, being sick, Smiley time takes over, or just being tired all the time.

11. De-crap my house.


- Still need to work on this. See yard sale idea above for possibly ways of doing this.

12. Let my inner Martha Stewart shine.

- I have my dragon counted cross stitch but every time I think I'll start it, I just don't. I come up with an excuse not to do it and do something else. Like take a nap or do laundry.

On a happier note, I mentioned about Smiley is walking. She really is getting better with her balance and I love her face when she takes off. So cute. She has also become clingy to me. She is saying "ma ma" but doesn't connect it to me. Oh and she loves to drop her sippy cup and then say "uh oh". So cute.