Outrageous Riders!

This morning on the radio on my way into work the local radio station was listing different celebrity riders for when they are performing. Some of them are known to be outrageous and just plain stupid. So it got me to thinking, when I am rich and famous and I go on tour what would I have in my rider? More on that later. For now let me share with you some of the celebrity riders that I found online today during my Google search.

Lady Gaga
- A nude mannequin (are you really surprised about this - it's Lady Gaga after all)
- 1 pack long straws (must be extra long)
- An elliptical machine
- 6 Activa (does Jamie Lee Curtis come with them?)
- 1 container of homemade guacamole (what no chips?)
- 2 Bottles of White wine (I'm good with this)
- 1 Bottle of Red wine (No glasses? Oh wait that must be what the extra long straws are for)

Mariah Carey
- $200 Bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon
- 2 Vases full of white roses
- 20 white kittens (does she adopt them after her tour?)
- 100 white doves (well at least the kittens eat well on tour)
- Room must be 75 degrees (too warm for me)

Justin Bieber (gag)
- Large package of Swedish Fish
- Apples and Caramel
- Herbal teas (actually a smart choice - did I just say that?)
- 4 packages of white tee shirts
- 3 packages of lo-rise socks

Adele
- 2 Bottles of Red Wine
- European Lagers (party at Adele's dressing room - whoo hoo)

Kanye West (gag)
- Imported and recut Versace towels
- A chauffeur who drives him wearing only 100% cotton clothing

Britney Spears (gag)
- McDonald's cheeseburgers (no buns) - and you wonder why you put on weight?
- 100 figs and prunes (um not going there)

Mary J. Blige
- A new toilet seat installed in her dressing room bathroom before she arrived (I don't see a problem with this)

Jennifer Lopez
- Her trailer must be furnished in all white (flowers, tablecloths, couches, candles, etc) - uh white?

John Mayer (blah)
- Organic fruit
- Soy milk
- Soft head toothbrushes
- Listerine mouth wash
- Mint flavored Sensodyne or Tom's of Maine toothpaste
- Altoids (OK I may not particularly like the guy but at least he tries to keep his mouth minty fresh and his demands are not too crazy)

Nicki Minaj
- Buckets of spicy fried chicken -no thighs, lots of wings (man that girl can eat)
- 3 packs of gum (all different flavors)
- 2 space heaters (guess she gets cold easily)

Madonna
- 20 International phone lines (I guess for her 300 person entourage)
- Lillies, white and pink roses with stems that are trimmed to precisely 6 inches

OK so some are not as odd as you would think but I'm guessing some of the really strange or overly demanding requests are not published. An agent has to protect their client.

 

What would be in my rider? Well lets see. . . if I was famous and they all bowed at my feet then I think I would have:

- Really soft linens and towels (now my assistant could arrange to have some that were my own placed in my trailer/dressing room)

- Good pillows. I am a stickler about my pillows. B-man laughs at me for all the pillows I have on the bed (I don't like really fluffy or soft pillows and I can't sleep flat so . . . good pillows.

- Quality food. . . . if I am rich I now can have the best of the best when it comes to food (not organic this organic that - just really good quality food)

- Fiji water (for when I'm rehearsing or performing). Singers know to keep hydrated and I just personally like Fiji water. I know someone who only drinks Starbucks water and well if it works for him great!

- I'm not a champagne person so probably good bottles of wine (no they don't have to be uber expensive)

- A safe play/sleep area for Smiley. She and B-man would naturally be going with me wherever I went so her happiness and safety are priority (even over my pillows).

- Twinkies (love them, miss them, so happy they are coming back but yes I would use my celebrity to get them)

So what would your rider include?